Die Hard 5 - Written Review

Question: when do action movies get released?  Answer: during the summer blockbuster season and sometimes around Christmas.  Question: if an action movie gets released during the "movie down season" (the time frame between New Years and late March/early April where Hollywood releases movies they know aren't so hot but they have to put them in theaters to try and recoup the money they put into them) should you be a little suspicious or worried about it?  Answer: yes.  That big red flag went up for me when I went into the theater to see this movie.  Was it justified to be a bit worried about the newest installation to the Die Hard franchise, A Good Day to Die Hard?

Oddly, this title is hard to remember.  It's gotta be the wording.

How the hell did they screw this movie up?  It's a Die Hard movie.  You'd think it's hard to F that up.  I thought it was.  You want to know the biggest problem of this movie?  It was a comedy script trying to be a serious action movie.  Half the lines of dialogue are meant to be jokes.  In the other Die Hards there is an air of seriousness.  There are terrorist that are hell bent on a mission and they don't care who they kill getting what they want.  But Film Crazy Adam, that's what happened in this movie.  Yes, with all the seriousness of a Rush Hour movie.  Die Hard isn't a comedy.  There are a few ha-ha moments, but it's not a comedy.  Again, not saying that this movie was a comedy, but it felt like it was trying to be one.  The writer was trying too hard to be clever and funny with the dialogue.  That being said, it was satisfying on some level being the only person in the theater to get the joke about Newark.

This is why you shouldn't play Van Halen's Eruption with the volume on 11.

Also, the character of John McClain is nothing like how he's ever been played before.  In every other Die Hard John McClain (played by Bruce Willis) is just doing his own thing.  Either he's on vacation minding his own business or he's working.  And in all of those other movies he starts to lose it.  To be fair, wouldn't you if you were put in any of the situations of any of the Die Hard movies?  He's constantly on the run for his life and he doesn't know what's going on.  Bottom line, he's never in control.  This entire movie was weird, BECAUSE John McClain WAS in control the whole time.  It was so weird to see John one or two steps ahead of the game all through this movie.  He constantly knew what was going and even seemed bored with the way things played out, like - "Heh, knew that was going to happy.  And it did."  It was like John McClain read the script.  There wasn't a situation that held dramatic tension because John McClain acted so bored and jaded with everything that was happening around him.  And what's the deal with him just casually beating people up to steal and destroying vehicle after vehicle in this movie?

What're you doin?  That's not how it's done.

In conclusion, Die Hard 5 was a let down.  It's hard to get anxious over a scene when the main character is in a life or death situation and the main character is acting like "yeah, whatever."  Die Hard 5 didn't know what it was doing in terms of what feel it was going for.  The acting was eh, the directing was a bit below eh, and the script was too simple and generic.  Like all Die Hards there was a vehicle chase scene.  This one probably cost about 70% of the budget.  And the chase scene was ridiculously over the top, even for an action movie comedy.  I was thinking of making this a video review, but in the end this movie wasn't worth busting out a camera.  In the end, was it a good action movie.  Sure.  Was it a good Die Hard movie?  I'd have to say no.  Was it a good movie?  It was entertaining and, so, wasn't a complete waste of time.

Film Crazy Adam doesn't really recommend this one.  Not when I can just recommend Die Hard 1, 2, & 3.  4 was eh.  Yippee ki yay mother bleeper!