Taken 2 - Trailer

I actually saw this trailer about a week or so ago and forgot to post about it.  It's the trailer for "Taken 2."  "Taken" was an awesome movie.  And it was good (remember how I said it didn't have to be both).  It was phenomenal, mind-blowning, and awesome.  It's one of those movies that didn't require a sequel...but, my God, this sequel looks awesome.  It looks to promise more of the first one.  This is definitely on my list.  But check out the first one and check out the trailer.

Also:

Seriously, why would you??!?

The Expendables 2 - Written Review

I have just seen one of the funniest movies of the year.  This movie is contending for the one of the top 3 spots for best comedy of 2012.  This movie had an all-star cast of A list actors and had me rolling in the aisle.  Not sure what movie I'm talking about?  Well, I'll tell you.  Hold on to your butts, because the following movie being reviewed will have you so full of testosterone that if your balls have already dropped they're about to drop again.  This is the movie where everyone is a manly man, even the women.  Gentlemen and men, I give you: The Expendables 2.

A manly movie about men doing manly things.

 If you noticed the #2 in the title, yes this is the second Expendables movie.  This is the sequel to the 2010 movie that was directed by Silvester Stallone and starred most of the same cast.  But don't worry if you haven't seen the first one.  No, really.  It has no baring what so fracking ever on this movie.  It has almost as much testosterone as this one...almost.  I say almost because as many action heroes they had in the first one they got  more for this one.  The first one stared Silvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture, and Terry Crews as the Expendables.  Stone Cold Steve Austin appears as one of the villains.  Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis both cameo in it too.  Almost EVERY action star in the last 30 years appeared in this most manly of manly movies.  They upped that in the second one by adding Jean-Claude Van Damme and Chuck freaking Norris to the cast.

Chuck Norris once got bitten by a cobra.  After 5 days of agonizing pain the cobra finally died.

The caption...he said it in the movie.  I'm not kidding.  He effing said it.  Not only that, but he took out an entire platoon and a tank - a f*&king tank!! - by himself.  By himself.  It was awesome!!!  And that's basically what this movie is in a nutshell - Awesome.  Now that's not to say it was good.  This movie was absolute and udder crap.  You may have noticed I haven't written anything about the story to this movie.  And it's because there isn't one.  There's a paper-thin plot about sneaking into Albania to get a computer out of a crashed plane.  And then they need to get it back from Van Damme after he steals it from them.  But trust me, this movie is crap.  You walk into the theater, sit in a seat, and check out.  Just shut off your phone and your brain and that's it.  No thought is required, needed, or wanted, for this movie.  The bad guys in this movie have worse aim then imperial storm troopers.  The main characters are more indestructible than adamantium.  That being said, this movie was so f*&king awesome!!!

I'll be back.      Adriane!!  Yippe ki-yay m-effer.

Final thoughts: this movie was absolute crap.  Please check your brain at the door.  However, a movie doesn't have to be good for it to be mind-blowingly awesome.  This movie was AWESOME!!!  This movie was a manly movie.  Guns, explosions, awesomeness.  That's what this movie was.  Don't go if you're expecting anything else.  For those of you who need an escape for a little under 2 hours, this is it.  It's funny.  It's awesome.  And it's manly.

The Bourne Legacy "Brief" Review

The Bourne movies have been pretty successful thus far and made a pretty good trilogy.  Does the Bourne Legacy live up to the first three?  Answer: no.  Film Crazy Adam went to see The Bourne Legacy believing he was going to see a summer spy action movie.  Thought he was.  Instead he doesn't really know what he saw.  It might've been a movie about spys...maybe?  It might've had something to do with Jason Bourne...maybe?  It might've been good...maybe?  This was the biggest let down of the summer - a bigger let down then hearing that GI Joe Retaliation was moved to March.  This movie made promises and didn't keep a single one.  The worst part about this movie: it was boring.  They made a boring spy.  How do you do that?  How do you make a boring spy movie.  Seriously, how do you f*%k that up?  Spy movies by their nature are thrillers.  There was NOTHING thrilling about this movie.  There wasn't much action, and when there was it was repetitive and/or hard to follow.  There was NO tension in this movie, dramatic or otherwise.  This movie wasn't worth it.

And upon further research, this movie has NOTHING to do with the Bourne series. The first trilogy was based off books by the same names. There is a book called "The Bourne Legacy" which follows "The Bourne Ultimatum." But that book stars Jason Bourne and the events of this movie literally have NOTHING to do with that book. This movie is a lie!!!

Red Dawn (2012) - Trailer

Was poking around on Yahoo! movies and saw this new trailer.  When I checked the trailer on youtube it's been up for about 21 hrs and already it's pretty even between the likes and dislikes.  And again I have to ask, why?  People dislike this movie trailer why?  Because it's a remake of a Patrick Swayze film?  This trailer looks pretty damn good and I'm looking forward to it.  Check it out.

Stars the mighty Thor, Chris Hemsworth.  Comes out November 21, 2012.

The Watch - Written Review

So, I saw The Watch staring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill primarily.  The first thing I will say about this is that I enjoyed this movie.  However, I need to make a few things clear.  This movie wasn't that good.  I saw it in a group of my friends, all of which were dudes, after a long work week.  This movie is one of those that is only good if you see it in the theaters with a group.  This is not something I will ever rent or buy on DVD because, honestly, the movie wasn't that great.  It worked because of who I was with.  That being said, let's move on.

Doesn't really tell you much about the movie, does it?

Ben Stiller plays a Costco store manager who starts club after club in his quiet Ohio town to fill the space inside him created by his own feelings of shame and in adequacy because he's sterile and can't give his wife a child.  But that last bit doesn't come up til later.  He adds the neighborhood watch to his list of clubs after his night time security guard is killed and skinned.  3 people turn out: Vince the obnoxious loudmouth who basically does what he wants and doesn't listen to Ben's character at all; Jonah who's character is, well, psychotic; and Richard Ayoade who's been in nothing you've ever seen but seems normal enough and pretty up key despite being an alien.  That last bit comes later.

The 4 men drive around aimlessly to see if they can find the guard's killer.  The sad thing is that there are only 5 police officers in this whole town, so ironically the neighborhood watch almost matches the police forces.  Anyway, they're driving along and they hit something.  They don't see that it's an alien, but they do see that he's dropped something, some kind of ball.  A ball which, when fingered by enough guys who of course make countless sexual innuendos fires a laser that basically scans and envelopes an object in energy before making it explode.  So far it sounds cool, right?  Like I said, this is a movie that is going to be funny for a group of guys.  There are a ton of sexual innuendos.  But not sex jokes.  There's a difference.  A BIG difference between the two.  Innuendos are much funnier by the way.  This movie is chock-full of these.

Now available at Costco: the Beef Cooker 3000.  When you have a live cow right now and you need a burger in 2 secs.

But not to say that this movie is nothing but innuendos, it's not.  There's a few good scenes and few good lines.  Actually there were a bunch of good lines.  To wrap this up, if you're a high schooler, college guy, had a long week at work, or just like Vince Vaunghn and you're going with a group you'll like this movie.  But this will lose it's charm the fewer people you have watching.  Charm drops exponentially when the fewer with the fewer guys that are watching it too.

Final Thoughts:  I enjoyed it, but it's not a great movie.

Total Recall "Brief" Review

A new rendition of the short story "We can remember it for you wholesale" has been brought to Film Crazy Adam's attention.  Is this real?  What is real?  Film Crazy Adam remembers seeing this movie in theaters and remember seeing another version of this movie back in the 90's.  Is that possible?  Or is it just an artificial memory that was implanted to make me think Film Crazy Adam's done this.  You see, this is where things become a problem and Film Crazy Adam becomes even more crazy.
In all honesty and fairness, this movie was a good watch.  It harkened back to the cheesy Total Recall with Schwarzenegger, but at the same time did something totally new and different.  This movie is a remake of the 1990 film of the same name, it's a retelling of the same story used as source material.  Film Crazy Adam recommends this movie if you're looking for a competently done sci-fi movie.