The Man with the Iron Fists - Written Review

What can I say about this next movie?  It's going to be hard since it was hard to stay focused while I was watching.  This movie was silly to say the least.  It was over the top, ridiculous, and just gratuitous.  Now it sounds like I'm saying that like it's a bad thing since I just used three adjectives that I use to describe movies I find entertaining.  However, this time I'm not.  In this instance, this movie suffered because of all 3.  And even that probably sounds counter intuitive based on the movie.  Which movie?

AKA: Iron Fists

Now I'm all for a good fight sequence.  I'm all for a good kung-fu fight sequence.  The problem with this movie is that they're not doing anything new with it.  Everything in and about this movie is based on the fighting, choreography, cinematography, and cheesiness of the really old really REALLY low budget Chinese kung-fu movies.  There was a tease and an implication that because it was "presented by Quentin Tarintino" that it would be along the same lines as Kill Bill, it's not.  Those movies had cheese, but not to the extent of this movie.

That's not a knife.  THIS is a knife.

This movie had everything.  I mean everything.  Warring clans, the emperor being somehow involved, a mysterious white guy, literally metric tons of knives, flying, mystic powers, girls, girls with knives, girls with knives that know kung-fu, a cat house owner that knows magic kung-fu with knives, magic, unstoppable fighters, lovers being killed, forging weapons, zooming in, a son avenging the death of his father, a son taking his father's place coming into his power, sudden betrayals, poison darts, gore, blood, decapitations, crazy music, flashbacks, a healing/training/learning montage, and the list goes on.  Seriously, this movie had it all.  It is the culmination of every kung-fu movie ever made.

I am Colossus of the X-men.  HHHRRAAAAHHHHH!!!

Overall, just too much.  Now if that is what this movie was going for - too much, over the top, and made to look like and old old Chinese kung-fu movie - then it succeeded 100%.  There is an audience for this, but I'm not that audience.  Since I don't know if this is supposed to satirical or serious I have to judge it based on it's merits, which aren't many.  If you're a big fan of old Chinese kung-fu, you'll absolutely love this movie.  For everyone else it'll be a waste of time.  I'm not exagerating or kidding when I say I started nodding off because I was getting bored.  This is all stuff we've seen before and nothing new was added or tried.

Film Crazy Adam does not care for or recommend this movie.  Unless you really REALLY like cheesy kung-fu flicks.